10 Things I Wish I Knew In High School
- Emily L Wilson
- Apr 7, 2018
- 17 min read
I was just in the shower when this amazing idea crossed my mind! There are many videos on YouTube pertaining to this subject, but I thought I would write a blog about it and the turn it into a video for you all! So, this blog is about 11 things I wish I knew In High school... Christian edition.
It has already been around 2 years since I have finished high school, it is so crazy how time flies! But I am forever grateful that it's over, lol. Some of the topics that we will be discussing today are things that we have all heard, and it is things that we all know. Through this blog I really want to encourage you to begin applying these into your every day routine at school, and even in your every day life outside of school. I wrote these in no specific order, just what came to mind first.
Let's get started!
1. It isn't about partying, alcohol, drugs, or being "cool".
So, it seems that most people are mainly excited to go to high school because it possibly involves more freedom, parties, becoming popular, and you finally get to experience what everyone has always been making a huge excitement about. At least, that was the majority of us, but of course there are those people who truly are going there to focus on their career and future. Oh, how I wish that were me! But anyways...
As Christians, we wouldn't really desire to experience those crazy parties or any type of rebellious activities that could come along with it. But, for those who are still curious, I just want to let you know that that is not what being in high school is all about. I remember the effects of high school, it always causes you to feel this pressure that if you don't go to parties or drink every Friday, it means you aren't "cool". Over the course of time, school has really changed. At least, the type of crowd that I fit into, wasn't how school students should be. I won't accuse all students, or talk on their behalf, this is just based on my experience and who I tried to fit in with.
As followers of God, we are called to stand out. Of course that isn't always easy, but it is more than worth it. When you experience and see the hand of God working in people around you, just because you set a good example, you will experience the most heart warming feeling and joy in the whole world. We are called out of the world and we have not need to feel ashamed of the Gospel. (Romans 1:19).
Be your own kind of cool; You have the Almighty powerful God living within you, THAT is enough to get us through the day. Rest in assurance that He loves you, and we are here to build up His kingdom.
2. Focus.
This is my favourite one.
Over the first year of high school, I had developed a very" careless" and reckless kind of attitude and mindset. I did not put any effort into my school work, into paying attention in class, or to the consequences that would soon come as a result of my poor attitude. I can tell you all now that THAT is my biggest regret. I was so focused on things that didn't matter; so focused on what people thought of me, on my own selfish emotions, on my thoughts, that I never payed attention. I did have my good days toward the end of high school, but that was only because I had accepted Jesus that year. Before that, I was still so convinced that only "uncool" people studied, worked hard, went to the library on their lunches to catch up on work, read books for fun, and just someone who cared a lot in general. It was foolish to think that, and oh man, how I wish I did go to the library on my lunches without feeling "uncool". It's okay though, I am glad I went through that so now I am able to talk to you guys about it. It is more than okay to work hard and to finish your assignments on time, there are so many pros to actually handing in your work early ahead of the due date- while everyone is rushing around to finish it last minute, you can just sit back and relax!
High school is four short years, and it flies by very quickly. Don't focus on things that won't matter after you graduate.
3. Popularity does not matter.
We started to touch on this subject in our last point, but let's take a look at this verse.
"What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31
This verse will help get you through many different situations. The key point I want to make is that, it only matters what God thinks, not how you look in other people's eyes. Everyone in their life has once thought about or imagined what it would be like to be that "popular" girl or guy in school. But we have to stop ourselves and really think, "why?".
"Why do I need that popularity?" or, "Why do I have to be the most liked person in the school?"
Maybe we think it would be easier, less bullying, less heart ache, more respect, but I'd say it goes both ways. Each person, the popular or the unpopular both has their fair share of trials. Either way, people will always have their different opinions of you, and they ALWAYS change.
Don't waste time on things that won't last, or build up our eternal treasure in eternity with God.
4. Be yourself, and don't change for people.
We should only be changing for God. When God convicts us, or when He is working in our heart.
If you find yourself changing to just to fit in, those relationships are not from God. Perhaps, you are trying to change your image, the way you talk, the way you think... stop right there. You do not need to do that just to impress other people. There is so much truth in the saying that God does not make copies, you ARE an original, and when we try to copy somebody else's ways, we don't get to fully experience the purpose that God gave to us alone. So, by be yourself I mean, be who you are in Christ, and God will bring you the right friends. He made you, YOU, for a reason.
5. Love your enemies.
Jesus teaches us something very important in Matthew 5:43-48. If you haven't already, I would truly encourage you to read through these amazing verses! Through Matthew 5:43-48, Jesus teaches us on how God would want us to treat all people, even those who do any wrong to us.
There will always be people who like you, and don't like you, people who make fun of you, or talk behind your back. This is a hard reality, but sometimes, nothing is always as it appears! For example, let's say there is a girl who is really popular girl, really mean, and picks on everybody. Deep within, there is a possibility that she really just is that way, but not always. God never created her that way, over a series of many events in her life, it probably built up to that attitude that she gives off. The hurts that she has felt in her life, or the worries and fears that she constantly battles against, is manifesting into her life and how she treats others. This is why I believe that Jesus wants us to love our enemies, and pray for them. I heard this saying once and it stuck with me ever since- hurt people, hurt people.
I used to get so angry at the things some people have said about me in grade 9. I would call them out on it, making a big deal out of nothing sometimes, when it would have been so much easier to just let it go. I wish I knew what Jesus taught, to love and to forgive.
Don't listen to any mean thing that people say, stay focused on your worth in God. Those people do not know you personally, but God does. Do not let the words of others shape you.
6. Respect your teachers.
If you, as an individual, read and follow God's word, you would normally already be doing this. Yes, I know that teachers are always bringing bad news of more homework or a new assignment- but, God wants us to respect our elders and treat them kindly, as they are people too. We cannot forget that they are people with personal lives as well. I have realized over those years that when things get tough, sometimes the best person that will help pull us through those bad school days, are those few teachers who like you a lot and the ones that you get along with well. When your friends don't understand and can't do anything to help your situation, find a teacher that you trust. Sometimes, we all have to learn the hard way, as I did, but the advice that our parents and other adults tell us, are sometimes so true. Only, we realize it later on.
7. Focus on God, don't let your surroundings change you.
"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Romans 12:2
It is so easy to get changed or be changed by any environment that we are in every day. Whether it be a workplace, where you live, or your school. I wasn't a Christian all throughout my four years of high school, but I can only imagine how tough it must be. When I had first started to walk with God, I only had to go to school once a week, due to a program my school has called 'Co-op". Even going to school once a week was challenging!
The best thing to do when beginning high school or any school for the first time, is to find people who are like you. If you have friends, but they are influencing you in not so good ways, maybe start praying about them and see where God leads you.
Stick with your crowd of people. If you truly desire to strive in God's word, find people who want to do the same. The friendships that God brings together are ones that will last a very long time!
8. Keep dating God's way.
Some of us look to have a high school relationship that stays together until marriage, but many just have relationships for fun. To court somebody, is not only for adults. It applies to all ages, and it a wiser thing to do- it will prevent heartbreak, and confusion. If you are interested in somebody and you wish to know if they feel the same, the important thing is to NOT rush ahead. Before making any official decisions, make sure that you have truly gotten to know each other; your personalities, intentions, hopes, desires, goals, families, beliefs, and most importantly your walks with God.
The most important part though, is prayer. Before trying to pursue any relationship or before making a decision of entering into one/choosing a person, we must make sure with God! We need to ask God if our heart is right with Him, and if we are ready; if God sees the time fit. It is important not to jump into relationships unless you can visibly see that it can work in the future and unto marriage. We should not be settling just for the sake of not being alone. God has a plan for you and we have to make sure to trust in His unfailing love, resting in Him alone until God reveals that special person in His timing. When we rush ahead of God, heartache is bound to happen. But if we trust in Him to lead us, things will flow smoothly and we will feel His peace that surpasses all understanding. We should have the right intentions when entering a relationship.
Another point I want to touch on is crushes. What I wish I knew back then was- it is NOT the end of the world if your crush doesn't like you back! I remember so many of my heartaches were simply because I liked a guy and nothing ever happened with it. I realize now that that is God's way of protecting us. If you are a girl reading this, you are God's daughter. He wants to protect you with everything that He has and is. Likewise for you men, God is saving you for that special lady but He wants to make sure that the two of you are ready and your heart is well.
Seek God first, find your joy in Him first. My biggest advice is: If you do not feel 100% peace about something, don't do it. I have finally learnt this after repeating the same mistake over 3 times.
9. Friends come and go, but Jesus comes and stays.
Friends, where would we be without them during school? I was always the girl that had one or two best friends and if they were there, I was okay. If they didn't come in that day it was instant panic mode. Even though I wanted to become "popular", they're friendship went a long way in helping me through high school. In high school I had a total of five different best friends, through out the course of four years. It wasn't that we argued and decided not to be friends, things just change overtime.
We expect God to be a God who gives, and only gives whatever we want, whenever we want it. But He does not work that way, simply because He is our loving Father. He gives and takes away, but He only takes away when He sees that it is harmful to us, or the purpose to why He allowed it is finished. In Ecclesiastes 3, we read that there is a season for everything, and I could not agree with that more! We need to understand that God will sometimes remove people from our life; not because we did something wrong, but simply because they are not meant to be there anymore.
In a case where you argued with your best friend, refusing to forgive them or give them a second chance, that is different. Romans 12:18 and Hebrews 12:4 tells us to live as peaceably as possible, to the best of our ability- trying to make peace with all people.
A saying stuck with me from a few months ago, it said, "When people can walk, let them walk". Meaning, if people have no problem leaving you behind, no problem treating you badly, or you and your friend drift apart... know that it IS for a reason. Trust in God and pray about what to do in such a situation. The Holy Spirit will often let us know what to do in those cases; under the feeling of hurt, if you feel a still small voice type of peace, you can be sure that God is with you and you are on His will. But if you feel unsettled and as though God is calling you to make things right, in a case where you must apologize, then follow that call according to His word.
Jesus told us in John 14:18 that He will not leave us comfortless. No matter who comes and goes in our life, Jesus remains forever. Hebrews 3:18 tells us that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever! We can find so much rest in that. Focus on the Lord and when high school is over, your true friends may still just be by your side!
10. Don't complain or gossip.
We know that the Bible clearly speaks against these two things. If only I knew that 5 years ago!
"Do all things without murmurings and disputings" Philippians 2:14
"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31
These two verses are incredible. If we live by these throughout our high school years, it will go a long way! I think one of the worst habits that we have even since we are babies, is to complain. God calls us to have a joyful heart, rejoicing in Him and giving thanks continually.
Too much homework? Praise the Lord. We are blessed enough to have the ability to attend school, the abilities to learn and grow. Teacher upset you? Praise the Lord. You and your friend had a disagreement? Praise the Lord. In ALL of these things, we grow and learn. Through them, we experience new things, get to know people, gain understanding and wisdom. Even more, we get to learn humility and forgiveness. For one second, just try to picture yourself without those certain things...without the trials or mild stumbling blocks; they grow us and God will use each of these things to adjust and mold our heart into who He wants us to be. We must be righteous children of God.
I'm pretty sure that the majority of our lunch breaks and free time in class, we are either gossiping or complaining. To really think about it, I know I did... and it is the biggest waste of time. Why should we gossip about somebody's outfit, when we should be loving them as Jesus does? If our assignment is too hard, will we get defeated? No. Let us have confidence that God will help us through it. I really think it is a matter of changing our perspectives and mindset, that is why the Lord tells us to renew our mind. We can read Philippians 4:8 as a guideline to renewing our mind unto thankfulness and joy.
Let's look at a few verses to help us out!
"Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice" Ephesians 4:31
"Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles." Proverbs 21:23
"Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge." James 4:11
"A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends." Proverbs 16:28
We can see in many different verses, that God does not want us to talk bad about our neighbour.
11. Sex does not make you cool.
Along with partying, drinking, and drugs, high school can have this effect on us where we feel the need or pressure to do these things to fit in or feel "cool". Before we begin to discuss this, I must tell you all that this will NOT make you cool, if anything, it does the complete opposite. And if you are a believer, you should truly know that God prefers, no, wants, for you to wait until He sends the right person for you. Let's get personal for a second.. When I was in high school, I did not know God as I do now, and I would have done anything to get attention from people, or simply just get noticed by a guy. The sad part is, it somehow worked. But, it was the wrong type of attention.
I started to develop the mentality of "if I can't get into a real genuine relationship, then I'll just go with a different one each time". And that's what happened. I began to wait for any guy that showed interest and went along with it... But they never really cared about getting to know me, or to spend quality time with me, they simply wanted to use me for their own pleasure. It wasn't real. Anyone who claims to love you and is using you for their pleasure, it is not real love- and that soon leads into our next point.
Before we get into the next point, I just want to end off that personal experience with saying that no matter how many guys or girls you get with, none of them can satisfy that emptiness you may feel in your heart. Continuing with my story, after making the mistake of allowing myself to fall for the lie of "you need to hook up with people in order to be awesome" kind of thing... I shortly realized, that is a LIE. One may assume that you know what happened after that, haha. Me thinking that this will surely make me liked, or make more guys notice me, started to tell people and almost even feel like "showing off" about it... didn't realize at the time that it really would work- for the "better" and the worse. That's where the BAD attention came in. Rumors, gossip, glares...
I thought that was supposed to make people like me, but turns out, people change. One minute they can say sex is cool, then when you finally did it, they turn their back on you. We cannot rely on people's opinions! And before we know it, we threw away our most valuable possession for absolutely no good reason at all. If you choose to do anything in your high school years, choose to love God enough and yourself to keep your purity; because once that's gone, nothing is ever the same.
Now onto our next point.
If they are saying they love you, but keep pressing or making you feel guilty- that is not love, that's lust. And they are truly confusing the two. Love waits, love is patient, love is kind. In a situation like this, I really need you to stay strong! Read 1 Corinthians 13 to your partner, explain the differences to them, and have a deep one on one conversation about how you feel about it with them, but if they cannot understand, do not panic. I have been through this, and although it can be so frustrating and even heartbreaking, God has a good plan for you. I could say great, amazing, big, or wonderful, but I think "good" covers it. Because in the beginning, God said that it was good. It was simply perfect. The God who made everything perfect in the beginning, also has a perfect plan for your life. It seems unfortunate to us, but those plans may not include that person. Remember, that that is not God's fault, since the beginning it was us who tried to change and has messed up God's perfect plan. We must allow God to do the mending and fixing of our life to return back to His perfect plan, and sometimes that does involve losing people we thought we should be with forever. The real question to ask yourself is, "Do I really want to be with someone who will only love me if I do this with them?".
"But we love each other! We are going to get married any ways. Once won't hurt".
Oh yes it will.
Please let me be honest with you, once is never going to be enough. Along with some of the deadliest drugs, if we are not careful, sex is almost as addicting as they are. Some people may believe that you can have sex once and nothing changes, but a lot changes whether we notice it or not. Once you start, you won't want to stop, just like drugs. In many cases, if we make this mistake as a single person and come to God, we won't want to do it again outside of marriage, but it is more difficult if you are in a relationship. It only takes one mistake or "accident" to lead to a disaster.
There is no certainty that we are going to marry the person that we are currently with. God knows every single thing about the future, and we have to lean on Him in situations like this. I am telling you this from my own experiences. There have been many times that I was so sure that I would marry a certain person, but even years later, those plans fell through. We can never be completely sure, so it isn't worth losing our one valuable possession because of temptation or pressure. It doesn't seem like a big deal.. until it's gone. For an example, let's say that the relationship we are currently in doesn't end up remaining together, and you can look back on all of the times you stayed strong and didn't do it; imagine the gratefulness and joy you will feel! Or, if you end up marrying, imagine the joy you will feel when you realize how faithfully you have waited!
"It's natural/normal".
Peer pressure, just like anything else, plays a huge role in this category as well. You may feel pressured by a friend, sibling, adult, class mates, TV shows, movies, basically all of society. But you must remember that your value and worth comes from God- your Creator. God created you, but He also created sex. Listen to Him when it comes to advice on this subject, He knows what He is talking about. The world has twisted the idea of sex, it is glorified and for a "must" for everybody, at any age, any place, or any time.
But that's not what God thinks or says.
It's sad that our minds have gotten so consumed with that. As a believer, you know that we should never be conforming to the ways of this world, and that most definitely includes this.
Sex is not love and love is not sex. This is why God tells us over and over again to abstain from fornications and adulteries. You do not need to have this as your top priority. Death is the wages of sin; spiritually, emotionally, and physically. No matter how big the temptation is, know that the God inside of you is bigger, and no sin once committed will feel better than God's love.
Let's focus on the following verses.
"Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do." 1 Thessalonians 5:11
"Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law." Romans 13:10
"Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye." Colossians 3:13
These are some of the few main things that I wish I had known during high school, but the good news is that I learnt them all throughout! Sometimes the best way to learn new things, is to go through them. All of the things which we spoke of above can also be applied to any type of schooling- private schools, public schools, elementary and middle schools, and even our everyday life! I want to leave one last verse for us all.
"Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." Romans 5:1-5
Thank you for reading this, I hope you enjoyed it!
